Thursday, March 02, 2006

Up all night....

Did anyone else see the Good Morning America segment last week called "Mommy Wars?" I find it amazing that in the year 2006 we are still debating exactly where a woman "belongs" (house or workplace.) A new article has come out from femi-nazi Linda Hirshman stating that educated women BELONG in the workplace. Actually she states there is an "alarming" trend in our country because educated women are now chosing to stay at home in record numbers. According to Hirshman these women are doing damage to their children as well as society by staying home, it will contribute to the decline of women's lib, and that universities should not GIVE degrees to women who plan to stay at home with their children. Like that last one in particular. Universities are GIVING degrees away????? Which ones???? Because darn it anyhow- I went and paid for and earned my degree!!!! If only I had known I could have one for free without doing any work! Geesh!

Anyway, here and there are articles regarding what was said on GMA, and this is Hirshman's original article that initiated the "fight." (DG thanks for the remedial html lesson! Are ya proud????)

It was excellent timing for me, as I had just posted my own SAHM thoughts on the blog. But after seeing the show, felt so disturbed by what this woman was saying, and how many people appear to agree with her, I was DRIVEN to post on GMA's website FOUR times! Of course no one really reads all those, but it felt good. So here is what I posted. The second one from the bottom (which was the second one I wrote) should sound familiar, as I edited my post from here for the site.

And my thoughts on this topic as of today? I can't imagine having to go to work and be productive today since Anna got up and 1, 2, and 3am. By the last one I was too awake to go back to sleep at 5. Though she did of course! Now whom would I be benefitting by driving around, making important decisions, meeting with clients on about 3 hours of interupted sleep?

Shhhhhh...she's sleeping now so I'd better go and get some myself.If I have any blatant grammar/spelling errors please forgive -That's for DG ;)



april said...

I read your posts on ABC and totally agree! Great points! (The same I would have made anyway. :) )

We're at a very strange point for the role of women in society aren't we?

Kim said...

I agree with you totally!! Nice blog... nice music...
More power to SAHM's !!!!
You go girl!
Thanks for a good read.
SO. California

Skiingred said...

Oh my goodness... I started to read the articles, but my eyes started to bleed, and I ran out of duct tape for my exploding head.

I guess I better put my educated self to good use and let my daughter run amok in the neighborhood. Wait, she's doing that now... bad mommy bad mommy...

Shoe Diva said...

Good Points

Design Goddess said...

So what about us educated women who AREN'T mothers? What are we supposed to do Linda??!!! Huh, huh?! Tell me! What?!

Great html Z! Very proud of you! I also see that you got my e-mail about changing the comments part! yea!!!!

Next up, linking other blogs to yours! :)

Shoe Diva said...

Interesting, I read an article in the new Self Magazine about the Mommy War's -------

Unfortunately I will never be a SAHM -- I would love to be -- I just don't think financially it will ever happen.

bookchick said...

This week is week 4 of the family being sick. We're in the final stretch - which means the TW and I are almost at each other's throats.

I admire women who can work full-time and be a parent. I admire men who can work full-time and be a parent (by the term parent, I mean primary caregiver). Right now, I don't think I could - unless it was at a VERY flexible workplace. Like one where they didn't mind if I showed up in paint-splattered clothing because I hadn't done the laundry (it's not a 'girly' job - the husband hates laundry, so I do it and he does the cooking, which I hate).

I have a problem with EITHER side saying that one way is the right way. I read the article in SELF about the Mommy Wars, and more than anything I was struck by the fact that BOTH sides of the equation could *afford* their choices (eg, the working mother had the income to afford a great nanny/housekeeper, the SAHM had a husband with a high income).

Cripes, now I'm going to have to go off on this in *my* blog! ;>

Gareth said...

DG should be our own resident spell checker. She is the best afterall ;)
I believe that a woman should do whatever makes her happiest. Whether that is in the home helping to look after the children or at work furthering her career. No one should tell anyone else what they should and should not do.
Lovely post :)

state of grace said...

Thanks to all. I had a feeling this was an important issue to many after seeing the response on the GMA site. I am happy to know that most people are in agreement on one thing in particular. If a parent is lucky enough to have a choice to work or stay home, no one should criticize them for their choice. That's what women's lib was supposed to be about - choices.

The fact is, as my fellow ninja mom bookchick says, most of us don't necessarily have a choice. I could return to my below poverty level income job I guess, but I'd be working for daycare. Many women there barely cover daycare and benefits. On the flip side, many single moms work there who don't have a choice either (I was one of them not so long ago.) We didn't really make this choice b/c we're rolling in the dough. Last year my son came down with a contagious critter problem. It was going around school right before Christmas break. So the night before he's to go back I find them. We treat everyone (which you're not supposed to do, but just can't help wanting to- I itch just telling the tale!) And send them back to school. As a courtesy I call the baby-sitter. She acts funny. Then calls me back and tells me her husband says my son can't come back for two weeks! His school starts at 9:30, my work starts at 7:50. I broke down crying, and my husband said, "Get benefits through school until our wedding (a few months away) and quit. We will find a way." I love him :)

I think for many of us it's just too hard to juggle. When we found out just 2 months after we were married that Anna was coming, it sealed the deal. Daycare runs about 150 a week. And infants are hard to place (extra liability most daycares don't want.)

That all being said, I am thankful every morning my husband has a good job so I can stay here. As I said on one of my GMA posts, I have hour long conversations with Anna every day where she enthusiastically attempts to reply in shreiks, giggles, smiles, coos... How could anyone not be fulfilled! I wouldn't want to pay someone else to talk to her for me. I would miss it.