Monday, June 09, 2008

Utter Disgust (TPing isn't funny it's VANDALISM)

We have a thirteen year old in the house who has, for some unknown reason, created an enemy in the neighborhood- a set of fourteen year old girls, who's parents evidently think that's well above the age of responsible parenting because their teens are running around unsupervised at one o'clock in the morning. As my husband and I were just discussing yesterday regarding curfews and teens, nothing good happens after midnight.

This morning Rick woke me up with, "Tell Adri to clean the yard when she gets home."

I groaned in utter disgust.

This TPing has happened to us 5 times in the past several months, and each and every time the offenders become more brave and the TPing gets worse. This time is was accompanied by vomit and rotten eggs (fortunately the ingredients were mutually exclusive as the eggs were raw, but still a lovely vision for me before breakfast.) I'm sure that even by 6 AM when I went out to clean it up, the eggs would have successfully cooked into my paint if they had made it to my car. Luckily they must have been interrupted, perhaps when the alcohol poisoned teen let loose under one of my trees.

I know I should have left it for Adri to clean, however, I went ahead and took care of it. For one, I have questioned her about it in the past, and she is very upset. I - ninja Zen- can tell easily when she's telling me a tall tale, and when she's hiding something. Can't always tell what that something is, but just that it is amiss. Plus the TP-ers always seem to manage to do the task when she's not home anyway so I would have to look at it, blood pressure boiling, all morning. I worked too hard on my front yard, wind chimes, flowering plants, shrubs trimmed and flower bed mulched, to let these ignorant, arrogant, self-entitled, disrespectful children ruin all my hard work.

I also didn't want to give them the opportunity for pictures/bragging rights of their work.

I was pretty sure they wouldn't be awake at 6am like I was, since the crime must have been committed after midnight (when I went to bed) and I'm sure they were hung over nicely as well, per their evidence of drinking in the form of vomit in my front yard.

So there I was, at 6am, in the already 90 degree/ 80 percent humidity weather, climbing up a ladder a couple dozen times, pulling down all but one roll and a few straggles of toilet paper that I could not safely reach from atop my precarious perch.

God help me if I ever fall cleaning this up.

On second thought, God help them.

Beacause I am so very angry.

I know this isn't a typical post for me, but I just am so tired of this.

as in the entitled, materialistic "Generation Me" that my generation of parents seem so bent on rearing.

Now when we hear "But all the COOL parents let their kids-"

Have a cell phone and Xbox, with an uncensored side order of IPOD.

Every other kid at their school seems to also have but are not limited to -

Any and all use of the computers, internet and TVs in their bedrooms allowing for complete privacy, and absent of any hint of parental controls.

These "friends" have complete purchase power of their clothes, no budget, wear whatever they want including short shorts, push-up bras, low riding/underwear showing pants.

They always go to the mall/movies/sporting events alone, and are never questioned as to whether or not parental supervision is taking place wherever they are headed off to.

The sad part is...I have talked to some of these parents and .....

it's true.

You know I never really felt the pangs of peer pressure as a teen, because I had my own ideas about what was right and wrong, about what was appropriate behavior, what were "wants" and what were "needs," so I didn't feel pressured to keep up or do what everyone else was doing. I grew up believing in being accountable for my actions. Much as my now 11 year old son Noah does (who, speaking of trees has not fallen far from mine. :)

Whenever his teenage siblings make fun of him for listening and doing the right thing, he proudly tells me "I think for myself Mom. There's nothing wrong with being a good kid and listening to your parents. Why would I want to be grounded all summer?"

God love him. It's nice to know I'm doing something right.

So I didn't deal with or feel pressured by my peers growing up. But now? My parental peers are pressuring ME to keep up with them through their teenagers.

"All the COOL parents are doing it!" has been a battle cry for teens for decades. The difference is, now it somewhat true. Well...the part about all the parents giving in, living vicariously through and purchasing "happiness" for and being buddies to their teenagers, is true. I don't agree on the use of the term "COOL" however. Maybe that's because the term "cool" and "parents" are or should be considered an oxymoron (with emphasis on the second half of that term.)

On a positive note, in my search today to see how to go about catching teen vandals and pressing charges, I found out a lot! And though it's unfair that our kids will have to do without a few more of their current lists of "wants vs needs", we will be purchasing some video surveillance equipment, getting the trees trimmed and thinned out (making it harder for the TP to get caught in them) and motion sensor lights.

In short we are declaring war.

And if their parents don't like it when we grab their "precious children" and drag them by force into our own holding cell (ie my husband's office complete with military swords on the walls) til the cops get here? Then perhaps they will start acting like parents, impose some age appropriate restrictions and consequences, and grow up already themselves.

On a side note I was pleased to also come across a story about a mall in New Orleans, that teens were boycotting in protest (along with some ridiculous "parents") because the mall created a "curfew" for teens under the age of 16. They cannot be in the mall, unless accompanied by an adult over 21, on Fridays and Saturdays after 4 pm until closing. I found several articles about this online, and despite the "teen and tween" protests to boycott sales, the adults were all commenting that they would be returning to shop at the mall to show their support. There's even a my space support group for the mall, including many teens who agree it's out of control.

And these self righteous teens and tweens (some 10 or younger) who chose to boycott to exercise their financial power in protest? Were the same ones not spending money there anyway, who's parents drop them off and go to work or out themselves, using the mall as a babysitter.

The sites were flooded with support for the curfew.

Now if I could figure out how to get one imposed in my neighborhood.


Design Goddess said...

On the bright side, at least it hadn't also rained that night making the TP soggy! But, I do agree that it's a little much with the eggs and vomit. Yuck!

Good luck with your rearing. I really don't know how people would be able to raise "good kids" in this "gimmie" world. Perhaps it's that parents just don't take the time to be with their kids b/c their lives are just too busy. Perhaps they need to cut back on activities and whatnot to be with their kids instead of trying to get away from their kids.

state of grace said...

On the brighter side...

Adri's FRIENDS did it not her enemies. She is upset with them now. They invited her to join them in doing it the next night and she declined. I must be doing something right.

Design Goddess said...

I hope Adri doesn't stick with that group of friends cause with friends like that, who needs enemies?! I'm glad she decided not to join them. Not worth it if you ask me!

Design Goddess said...

BTW...just heard on the radio show I listen to in the mornings that kids are being charged with child pornography and being labeled as sex offenders for having pictures of anyone under the age of 18 either nude or partially nude on their cell phones. So, I say, "Good for you!" in not giving in to the kids' "need" for a cell phone. Still don't know how we survived without them when we were growing up!

state of grace said...

Whoa! Really? I think that would be hard to prosecute- are the people being charged adults themselves?

You know, it is so scary. We had a problem with a goofy pic of Adri (clothed of course!) that her friend took with a cell, then when that friend and Adri were fighting, the pic showed up on a fake myspace page pretending to be her. This is the same group of girls. I told Adri then, you'd better start picking nicer friends and stop playing the "popular" girl game. My next door neighbor (with the twins Anna's age) and I have been talking about how lucky we are to have each other as the girls grow up. We both know better than to be friends with our kids. She was a cheer leading coach and teacher for high school, and saw parents so worried about being friends with their kids that they lied for them about drinking and driving. My neighbor wanted to hold them accountable and make them leave the squad and their parents all covered for them so they wouldn't have consequences. She was disgusted.

I'm impressed with her being a first time mom and already having a heads up on the teen stuff.

DebbieKnitter said...

aw geesh, I remember those years and I HATED them. I feel sorry for your daughter, she has to "fight the fight" and saddly, probably 1 of those nasty little girls will still keep in touch with her as an adult. We told our son not to follow his friends,not to be the "cool" kid and do it cuz they are, we told him they aren't gonna be his "friends" when he either grows up or gets caught. Guess what, he listened. Now our 10 year old (who is Autistic but passive) will have to face the terror of these kids and their games. Thankfully, his educational process is far different then the public school providing him with much protection from that hub-bub. I am AMAZED at the amount of parents who happily place cell phones in their 12 & 13 yr olds hands, along with all the provocative clothing, the video games, every new gadget all known to man.They do it to "have it first" all at the parents expense, not the kids. They pay for it all, and then wonder why they have raised such rude and arrogant children...DUH!!! I am very happy to force my children how to EARN something and to be responsible for their own actions!! Good Luck with your daughter, I wouldn't be her age again for all the money in the world!

Anonymous said...


Zen Davis Richkowski said...

Hee Hee Hee!

At least I'm not an ANONYMOUS TOOL, with nothing better to do than surf through my old posts looking for reasons to toss lame insults at people.

Thanks for starting my day out with a snicker. ;)